A Wedding Rehearsal – Who Should be in Charge?

Who Should Be in Charge?

Wedding Rehearsals Without Overwhelm

Why online advice about wedding rehearsals is wrong.

Authored by: Annette Marchant

You can probably relate to what one of our couples said, “The lead-up, and day of our wedding was hectic and crazy.”

What this couple realized is that planning a wedding that is personal, intimate, special, celebratory or anything else in between is hectic and crazy—no matter how large or small your plans are. Simply, because you care.

Hectic and crazy—do you feel that with every fibre of your tired mind? What feels like thousands of decisions need to be made and followed through on—overwhelm is a genuine concern.

Most of us recognize when we are out of our depth…

If you don’t know how to change the oil in your car, you bring it to a professional. Or perhaps, you do know how to change the oil but it’s totally not worth the hassle, because the pros have the skill, tools, and ability to do what you could so much easier—safe oil disposal alone is worth the trip!

Btw, did you know that when it comes to oil changes you have to choose between regular or synthetic oil, and bio-degradeable, synthetic, or micro-glass oil filters? Oh, and is that the primary or secondary filter? It’s not just oil changes where we seek professional help, truth is, we hire all kinds of professionals to help us do the things we can’t.

Have you ever planned and performed a wedding ceremony before?

(It’s ok to admit you’re out of your depth.)

If you’re here and looking at hiring (or have hired) an Enduring Promises Officiant, it’s probably because you love the idea of having a personalized ceremony, one that you create. A ceremony so you, only you and your Officiant know all the details.

We’re not trying to be contrary but some venues and planners feel that they can run the rehearsal, we’ve even heard other suggestions that one of your friends (preferably a teacher—used to wrangling rowdy children) could run your rehearsal.

If only you and your Officiant know all the elements of your ceremony—do you really want your teacher friend running the rehearsal, or handing a copy of your ceremony to your wedding planner (who, btw, isn’t performing the ceremony) to run the rehearsal? Or worse, doing it yourself on top of everything else? *Deep breath* overwhelm—remember?

Over the years we’ve worked with so many couples and their families, wedding planners, venues, photographers, and DJs. You could say we’ve logged our hours, put in the time, and have become experts in the field—professionals who know how to work with other wedding professionals.

We don’t come to the rehearsal to step on toes, we come because we know your personalized ceremony, all the moving parts, and we come to support the feel of the day that you are wanting to create—oh, the memories you’ll cherish for the rest of your lives!

We come because we’re here to help, to remove the stress, because this is the reason you hire an Enduring Promises Officiant—we work together, you personalize and create and we take your vision to make it a reality.

“We did a rehearsal a couple of days before our wedding. It was our first time meeting our Officiant in person and we were so pleased with how friendly and funny he was. He got along great with everyone! During the rehearsal he really put our minds at ease and got us more excited about the big day! He made us feel more comfortable and gave us pointers to better our ceremony.”—Kim & Ronny on Wedding Wire

This is the difference between “diy” and relying on a professional.

“Our Officiant was extremely knowledgeable, helpful, and kind. She ran our rehearsal with polite control that kept things running on time and well. She was conscientious of photos during the ceremony and had tons of really useful tips. Couldn’t have asked for better. She even figured out how to cue our DJ during the ceremony when he wasn’t able to see her.”

—Michelle W. on Wedding Wire

“We couldn’t have asked for anyone better! Our Officiant was very helpful right from the initial meeting, at the rehearsal, and of course on the big day. His insight and humour were appreciated and helped calm both mine and my husband’s nerves.”—Amanda B. on Wedding Wire

We understand that it is well intentioned advice, but this is why the following advice [1] doesn’t work for an Enduring Promises Officiant…

“Before your rehearsal, be sure to sit down with your officiant…” At Enduring Promises, and well before the rehearsal, you have our time and attention any time you need us—we’re just an email or text away!

“…and discuss what elements you’d like to include in your ceremony…” Any elements you’d like to include will be added to the Ceremony by you through our one-of-a-kind Wedding Console. Your Officiant is notified of any and all changes you make in real time, so that your ceremony is completely you!

“…and what you don’t…” We don’t do things you don’t want to do—enough said.

“Be sure to ask what your options are and remember to stay true to who you are as a couple.” You have hundreds of options to choose from when you book a “Your Ceremony, Your Way” wedding package—making staying true to who you are as a couple easy, peasy!

Remember the hectic and crazy couple from the beginning? “We took on the additional work of hosting our wedding in our backyard, which only added to the stress. However, our Officiant, was absolutely incredible! Not only was he able to keep us level headed when we spoke with him, he offered us a few bits of advice and guidance making the overall experience much more enjoyable. Our guests absolutely loved him and how simple, yet personal, our backyard ceremony was.”—Robert S. on Wedding Wire

The Wedding Planners we work with also encourage a Rehearsal ….

I ALWAYS tell my couples that a rehearsal is a MUST. When I hear couples say, can we skip the rehearsal it is a huge NO for me. I even made a reel on Instagram about it. 

I always hear from my previous and current clients that they are happy that they did have the rehearsal, especially when their officiant is there. All the pressure and stress from family/ bridal party asking them questions goes away after the rehearsal and they can focus on enjoying their day…..  Which is very true!

Bar – Glorious Events

“As wedding planners we always encourage our clients to have a ceremony rehearsal with their bridal party and everyone else involved. It is important to also have an officiant there, who will be performing the ceremony. Rehearsals help the couple and their bridal party to visualize the flow of the ceremony, how to walk, where to stand, what to do, we usually practice all the moving parts of the ceremony at the rehearsal, such as the processional and recessional, signing of the registry, rings exchange. We do two rounds of the practice and at the end of the rehearsal everyone is usually very comfortable, because they know exactly what to expect on the wedding day.”                                                              

Fidan – Designed Dream

Remember the oil change illustration—ha! Enduring Promises Officiants have the time, tools, and skills that every couple needs. We say it all the time—our main goal is to reduce the stress of your day, and that the ceremony should be the one thing you don’t need to worry about.

We perform the ceremony, we know your personalized ceremony, we know the elements and moving parts, we love what we do and we’d love to rehearse with you.

“Nothing beats experience!” 

Annette Marchant

About the Author: Annette Marchant

Annette Marchant is a copywriter and homebody from Calgary. She writes—and is a happy contributor to this blog. Her love of words is fueled by black tea and a great set of headphones. Her home is filled with boys and one of them is an Officiant with Enduring Promises.